Sunday, March 17, 2013

Tough times.


There's always time that people hate you, they disagree with you. Last night session with Amigas at the timeline really made me miss them even more. Even when at school, I knew that not all could accept the way I led, the way I talked or the way I did things. They gave me weird nicknames behind my back, lol. So childish but it happened, whether I liked it or not. Then it came to the question of had I done enough to the school? Had the school achieved a lot of things last year? And as for me, I didn't want to say or tell the whole world what had we done to the school. Because by hearts, everyone should know the truth. The false truth that they're saying most of the times would only be the way they wanted to deny the obvious. Then, it came to idea of SPM. To be honest, I didn't score that well in my exams at school, maybe I had problems juggling my time with things that I had to handle. And not everyone could understand the pressure and the pain, I would say. So I just had to handle the things by my own and I had to deal with so many things. When I did score, they would say, 'Alaa, kp kena lah score.' But when I didn't, they would say, 'Huh? kp pun tak score?' What did they want from me? Because the truth was, they didn't know how many times I would cry, thinking about this. Then if I did cry, they would say, 'Oh siapa suruh jadi kp?' People will never be satisfied with others' fates but when they questioned that, it clearly showed that they're questioning their fates too. Shoot me down, but I won't fall. The top 5 would understand the pressure, the captains and the prefects. And when we're the fivers, the whole batch would understand the same thing. Everyone needed to aim for the same thing, but our commitments differed. I would say, I live for others. I would want to distribute happiness to them, so I took the challenge. The challenge that changed my life so much last year, the challenge that decreased my commitment towards my passion in debating. The time that I had to spend with my fellows during my final year. The time that I should just focus on myself to study and did the right things as students. Then, when it was all finally over, I realised that I shouldn't regret the time I became the one who had to lead. Because Allah fated me to become one, simply because He knew I could handle it. And most of the time, when I didn't score very well in my exams, I would say, 'Never mind, Allah is keeping the 9A+ for my SPM results.' So I took the challenge as a blessing. And thank you, Allah. Because that's the best for me. And I believe that You always listen to my prayers. I always want the best for my family, my friends, my school and for myself. Alhamdulillah.

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